Girl-Interrupted.net

LOL

Okay it’s not funny. I am mean. Rich and his wife are getting a divorce. It’s only funny because I found out through the myspace comments where his wife and her mother tell all their family business. I haven’t talked to him in a little while.

I saw this:

“No we are getting a divorce.”

I didn’t know for sure if she meant that they are NOT getting a divorce because she is a REAL messy writer.

Then she wrote this:

“Its just not gona work right now… we dont even have a real marriage… we never lived together or anything… I need to go see Grandmom to i havent seen that side of the family in a year next month… remember i have to split see’ing everyone… I cant just go to houston everytime…”

At least she separated the sentences. Well, all but one. She usually doesn’t even do that.

I am just being nosy. I don’t really care or anything. It’s just so funny that they talk about EVERYTHING in myspace comments.

She is in the Army and has lived in Japan for a long time. Even when they both lived here, they didn’t live together. I asked him why he wasn’t in Japan with her once, but I forget what he said. I know he said he’s not even going to move to Japan when he gets out of the Navy, which is next month.

Her mom took him off of her myspace.

I don’t USUALLY care about other people’s business, but it’s the whole business on myspace thing again.

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I talked to her

Nosy bitch was outside when I was leaving to go to my mom’s. I got in my car and was pulling out, then I saw her dog, and I pulled back in. I asked her very nicely, and she swore it wasn’t her. She said she’s been staying at her daughter’s house in Chesapeake because her son is in Chesapeake General Hospital (he has Chron’s disease), and she hasn’t been home in a week or even gone to work.

I knew she wouldn’t do it. She said it was probably the guy that cuts the grass. I really think it was him now. That’s what I said before. I said hi to him like two times, and he just ignored me. What a fucking asshole. I have it out for him now. Grrrr. Who does he think he is??? He doesn’t own this fucking place. If you have a problem, go to the landlord. He obviously did, and I had been picking up everything since then, way before he left that nasty note on my door.

I picked up that dog crap from the yard. It was not my dogs’, but it was from a small dog, so I would have got blamed for it. I am pretty sure it was not from my dogs. I went through the yard when I got that note on my door, and there was no crap, and I’ve picked up everything since then. So whatever. I guess I’ll drop it now. I was just upset that I thought it may be her. Anyone else I could give two fucks about. I’ll pick it up now. The worst animal control (or whoever deals with it) could do it give me a fine. I just love my dogs so much, so I was so upset about that threat. I still hope he got that note on the door though. It disappeared real fast. I said less than a half hour, but it was probably more like less than 15 minutes. Maybe it was some random person, or maybe he was checking my door to see if I got his note yet.

I feel like going off on him so bad. I don’t know if I’ll have the guts to do it, but I am thinking about saying something to him next time I see him. FUCKING ASSHOLE.

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Feeling a little better

Someone left dog crap in the yard, and I am SO mad. There’s only two other people that have dogs here. Nosy bitch, and the lady who lives next door to me, but she only stays there in the summer, and she is not living there right now. I am going to be mad about this for a long time. I tried to call my landlord to tell him I have been picking up the crap, and someone else isn’t, and tell him about the rude note. He didn’t answer though. Nosy bitch always picks her dog’s up, so it could just be that this is the beach and people walk their dogs down here. I was thinking I should not pick it up because it’s not my dogs, but I think I will just because I don’t want to hear anything from whoever left that note. I will try to call him in a little bit.

I feel a little better today. I’ll probably go to my parent’s and bring the stuff over that my aunt bought them. My aunt bought me a little statue from Rio De Janeiro, and I set it on my TV stand. My cat knocked it down, and Andy chewed on it. I got a Niagara Falls t-shirt,a key chain, and a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt. She paid for it all and insisted. I felt bad because she spent a lot of money on me. She paid for everyone to go bowling, like 7 or 8 people. She paid for food for everyone a few times. Ewww there’s this place called Anderson’s there, it’s a popular ice cream place, and I had mashed potatoes from there, and they were SOOOOOO nasty. They did not even taste ANYTHING like mashed potatoes. They tasted like freaking dog food. I was starving, as usual, but I could not even eat them. They were saying maybe they are instant mashed potatoes. I have had instant mashed potatoes before, and they are 100 times better than that crap.

People in New York are freaking crazy, or maybe it’s just my family. It was 40-50 degrees out, and they had the windows open and AC on in the car. I was freezing my ass off the whole entire time I was there. It was sooooooooooo cold.

I am losing weight in my boobs. My new bras are getting too big on me. I am also getting rashes under my boobs, which is one reason they give people who have had weight loss surgery boob jobs.

I thought about putting a stake in the yard with a sign on it next to the poop. It would say something like it’s not my dog’s. I am crazy like that. I wouldn’t do it, it’s just another one of those thoughts that sounds good in my head. I’m going to ask nosy bitch if she left the note next time I see her. I would think she would have told me herself, as outspoken as she is. I don’t think she would have threatened me like that either. We talk all the time, and she is really nice to me, and she knows a lot about how I get depressed and stuff like that since she works in mental health. She works at the local looney bin. I would just really like to know if it was her or not. I like her, and it would hurt if it was her because I know her better than anybody here. I know it wouldn’t be the guy that has a crush on me, and I know it wouldn’t be the girl that came crying at my door drunk off her ass once. I need to stop obsessing about it, but I make a big deal out of everything. That’s one thing Andrew hated about me, I can never just drop anything. He got real pissed when I said all that mean shit about Jenn. He would always throw it in my face when I wouldn’t drop something. “It’s just like that one time when you did that online.”

I don’t know most of my neighbors. I have never even seen most of them. According to my calculations, there’s only about 30 apartments here, and it’s all one building. I only know who about 6 or 7 of them are. Everybody basically minds their own business. Nobody parties or causes any trouble. Most of the people are older. Not old, but not teenagers or even in their 20s. I was told by one of my neighbors that I had never even seen before that we are not allowed to have dogs here. My landlord must be telling people that now. He definitely knows about my dogs. He never told me anything like that when I moved in, that I can remember, but I also didn’t ask him if I could have dogs. I just got my dogs, and he never said anything to me about it. He is really nice. Emily lived here for a few months, and she hated him. He is so nice to me though. I’ve heard people complain about him. Nosy bitch complains about him.

I am so hungry. All I’ve had is two crackers today. I am going to call my surgeon’s office now.

Also, I am SO horrible about returning comments, even on my favorite blogs. I have no motivation to do anything

Edit-
God, appointments doesn’t even answer the phone. They make me leave a message, and it takes me to the same person that I left a message for TWO days ago. They usually have their act way together. Maybe it’s because they just moved to the hospital. They need to freaking call me back. I told them that I can’t eat.

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Nothing

I was in a HORRIBLE, MISERABLE, DEPRESSED mood all day today. I didn’t post on here or even tweet. I was signed off on all my messengers almost all day. I was still nice to my mom though. I basically sat on the phone with her and didn’t say anything because if I did it wouldn’t have been nice. I am depressed again, and I don’t know why because I am usually happy around this time. The sun is out longer, and it’s warm and nice outside. I just got home from NY, and I was busy and doing stuff, so that should have made me feel better also. I think it’s because I stopped taking one of my meds. I am taking one that is in the same class of drugs, but once I stopped the other one completely, I felt depressed. I felt better after I took the new one tonight. I am used to taking the other one earlier, but I have to take this one later because it makes me so tired. But I am still having a hard time sleeping, and sometimes I take double the dose, and I hate doing that, but I do it all the time because I can’t stand not being able to sleep.

They freaking never called me back about getting some liquid taken out of my band, and I was too miserable to call or even care. I am SO dreading driving to Norfolk General to see my surgeon. It makes me not even want to go. I don’t know why, but one of my biggest fears is getting lost, and I have absolutely NO sense of direction. Christy and others that haven’t lived here that long know this area better than me. I know how to get to a few places, and that’s it. I have lived here all my life, so I have NO clue why. I hate driving to other cities because the interstate is so confusing. I make all of my friends drive when I am with them, even if we are in my car. Stupid GPS had to get stolen I should just buy a new one, but it pisses me off so bad. I should just keep it in here until I need it. I know I may forget it, and I’m sure it will get stolen again. I don’t even listen to my iPod in my car anymore because I am scared I’ll forget to bring it in. Stupid theaves. It’s so freaking wrong.

I am still very pissed over that note on my door. I haven’t seen any of my neighbors outside, and I plan on not saying hi to any of them because they all are suspects. Except for maybe 2 people who I know would not do it. I am wondering if it’s the guy who cuts the grass because he stopped being so friendly to me, but he seemed so nice and kind of dumb and redneck-ish, but it’s not like I really know him. I should have saved the note. You really couldn’t tell if it was a mans or womans handwriting. Probably more of a womans because men write messy, but not always, so I don’t know. I was thinking I should have kept it in case something happened. I’m sure I am just paranoid, but I was thinking someone could be evil and call animal control and say my dogs bit them or something to get me in trouble and my dogs possibly taken away. It was a fucking rude ass note, so who knows. I am a VERY forgiving person, but I would go off on them. I will be pissed off about this for a LONG time, if not forever.

I don’t think I want a tattoo anymore. It seems like a waste of money. I don’t know why I am being so cheap lately. I usually spend money like crazy and don’t think twice about it. It’s probably that I am not fixated on buying anything right now. When I want something it’s the end of the world if I can’t have it. I wish I could be content with what I have and small things in life. Sometimes I think “well at least I have two legs, two arms and am healthy.” I try to think positive sometimes.

I am getting so much freaking spam from sites I am a member of, such as stickam, drugstore.com and the lap-band forum, no matter how many times I try to unsubscribe. Drugstore.com says I have no subscriptions. It’s been happening for months. I hate spam. I get pissed off if I get one spam email. Mostly because I don’t erase any of my email since gmail is so great, and it goes into my archives, and my computer makes a noise when I get a new email. It’s so weird, but every time I hear my computer go “mail call”, it reminds me of Randy because of how much we used to talk, and 99% of the time when it did that it was from Randy. I just started using my desktop again, and I couldn’t use the sound when I was on my Mac, so it reminds me of the old days. It’s kind of sad and depressing because I don’t like thinking of those old days with Andrew. Maybe it’s this way with everyone, but lots of things remind me of my past. Stuff like perfume and everything. I don’t like it. Thinking of any of my past is painful, even though I had great parents and all. I would not live my life over. That would be the worst hell. My whole life has been a struggle. I struggle to make it through each day without going insane. I don’t want to get old, but I still wouldn’t live my life over. I have been through HARD times, and only because I am bipolar and cause them myself. I am most definitely my own worst enemy.

I lost 2 pounds when I was in NY. That’s all.

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Probably a really long post

I am still so mad about the dog poop thing. I still hope and pray they got the notes left on my door. I want to post another one just in case, but I’ll try to resist. Telling me that you are going to call animal control is like someone telling you parents that they are going to take your kids away from you or call child protective services on you. Okay, I love my dogs SOOOOO much. I still know that I will love my kids more though, so it’s not the exact same, but it is pretty close.

I am the kind of person that will do the the opposite of what you tell me to do because I hate being told what to do. I want to live my dogs crap out there all day long, just to piss them off. I’ve been putting the poop bag in my pocket, so in case they see me, they will think that I have nothing to pick it up with.

New York was cool. I mean, it’s wasn’t all that great, but it was good to get away and see family. It’s a small town blocks from Buffalo. The economy is so bad. They closed down a lot of fun things you used to be able to do there. There’s no jobs, from what I hear. It’s like a poor place compared to Virginia Beach. Houses that cost $500,000 there would probably cost $1,000,000 here. There’s barely any traffic. It takes a few minutes to get from one city to the next. It’s depressing there, which my mom always told me. I’ve been there and to Niagara Falls before, but not since I was a teenager.

My aunt showed me the high school my grandfather (my birth father’s dad) was the principal of and they all went to. Kind of funny, my mom married her principals son, and that he turned out to be a crack head. I almost spelled that “principle”, but I remembered the principal is your pal lol. My dad’s family lives somewhere up there in NY. I don’t talk to them. We just kind of lost touch. I saw them last when I was 13, and that’s the last time I talked to them. They are EXTREMELY religious. My mom’s family is too, but no where near the degree they are. My uncle (dad’s brother) used to read the Bible to me.

I hate flying. Taking off scares me the most. Every time something happens, I think we’re going to crash. Every time we slow down, speed up, tilt, go higher, go lower, the vibrations stop, the vibrations start, the engines or whatever stop making a noise. If we hit turbulence, I’d be the one screaming “we’re all going to die!”

My parents apparently spent all weekend with Christy and her family. My dad went to some NASCAR race with her dad in Richmond on Saturday. They didn’t get home until 4am! Christy just called me freaking out because she doesn’t know if she left her purse over my mom’s, and my mom is in bed and not answering. She would definitely lose her head if it wasn’t attached. She constantly loses stuff. Maybe it’s because she has kids and works a lot. My mom got a myspace (embarrassing), and Christy put her on her top 8 lol. She’s not even on mine or my brother’s top 8. I feel bad because I treat her so badly, and I do love her SOOOO much. She’s the only person in this world that I could not live without… literally. My brother doesn’t treat her bad. I tried hard today to be nice to her because I don’t want her to die/be dying and think of how I treated her bad. I want her to know how much I love her.

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Shitty

I have this pain in my stomach, and I am scared my band has slipped. I don’t think it has though. It doesn’t feel like a pain where the lap band is in the wrong place. It’s like under my ribs. It feels like heart burn under my ribs kind of.

I feel like I am going to faint, really weak, my heart is beating fast again, I’m shaky, and I feel light headed.

I don’t think it’s a panic attack because I was upset about nothing. Unless all the the sudden I am getting panic attacks for no reason, which I doubt since I’ve had 2 in my life when I was a teenager. I definitely had a panic attack a few weeks ago, and I don’t know what happened when I called the ambulance. I am not going to call an ambulance again. Hopefully it will go away, and if it doesn’t, I’ll call my mom.

I think the pain in my stomach is going away now.

Edit-
It went away, and I left a message for my doctor’s nurse to call me so I can get some liquid taken out of my band. The first appointment he has is on the 7th, so I may have to see another doctor or something.

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Stupid fucking neighbors

I planned on blogging about New York, but people keep pissing me off. Someone left a note on my door saying something like “One last warning. Pick up your dogs crap or deal with animal control.” So I left this:

There was no fucking shit in the yard. I went through it, and I have been picking up my dog’s shit, and my mom did while she was gone.

I have never had one problem with my fucking neighbors in the 6 years I have lived here. I am dying to know who it was.

Less than a half hour after I posted them on my door, they are gone. I have no clue who took them down, but I hope it was the person that left the note. I hope they complain to my landlord, so I know they are the ones that got the note. My landlord loves me more than anybody here, and he bends over backwards for me. He won’t give a fuck. It’s not like I said something threatening anyways.

Edit-

I hope it wasn’t my nosy ass neighbor. She sees everything. She knows shit that happens all the time. I swear she has cameras around here or something. She is really nice to me, and she is at work, so she couldn’t have removed them. I don’t want her mad at me because she is a major bitch.

Most people in this world have no clue what a bitch I can be. I am very polite and shy when I meet people. Only people that know me real well know how I can be. I guess they know now.

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Back

I’m back from my vacation, and now my miserable life can resume.

My apartment was a fucking mess when I walked in the door. The coffee table was moved across the room. Maybe they were playing RockBand or something and needed the drums, if not, I have no fucking clue why. My AC was on full blast and it was fucking freezing in here, and it still is. My TV was on and the volume was up way high. There was dog piss EVERYWHERE.

I’m sure my cousin (that my mom adopted) was taking the dogs out, and she is a lazy fat fuck. I bet she didn’t pick up the dog shit outside like I told her to do. I just got yelled at by my landlord before I left about doing that. My mom said my cousin cleaned the kitchen. Reallyyyyyyyyy????????? It’s fucking disgusting. Shit all over the counter, crumbs, receipts, dirty marks on the floor like liquid was spilled. She is seriously one LAZY ass bitch. She doesn’t do anything right. Not that I expected her to clean, but if you’re going to say you did, at least do it right.

Like when she stays the night, Andy will jump out of the bed because she is awake, and he needs to go out as soon as he wakes up. Well, she lets him piss and shit on the floor instead of taking him out when I am sleeping. My dogs are not perfect, but they will not piss and shit if you take them out like you are supposed to.

There’s this girl… I don’t know her URL, not that I would say. I’ve seen her avatar on flickr and twitter, and she is ugly. Ugly people should not make ugly faces. I think most people in this world are pretty or at least average looking, but some people’s looks annoy the fuck out of me. And it’s not that they are hideous or anything, just something about them drives me crazy.

Speaking of ugly people… my cousin in NY is fat, ugly, and has a horrible personality, and her fiance is HOT! My aunt always says she is witty. I didn’t see an ounce of wit. I remember she stayed with us for a little while when I was like 19, and she annoyed the fuck out of me then. We went to a gay bar together, and she was so embarrassing.

I love my aunt though, and my cousin that is schizophrenic and has a learning disability. Oh, I love my uncle too. I love my other cousin that came here twice last summer. She is funny, full figured, and still pretty. She was a little annoying, but not too bad. My aunt totally spoils me. She spoils her whole family. Other than that, my aunt and mom don’t talk to any other family they have, and they have a huge family.

I am such a bitch, I know. I am not claiming I am perfect.

Can you tell I am in a bad mood? I would have been fine if my apartment wasn’t a mess. I am not too tired.

My cousin (that my mom adopted) has been coming here. I know she was a while ago, but I think my mom may have discovered my site also, so guess whose IP I am about to ban. They’ll be too stupid to use a proxy, and they probably won’t even figure out they are banned. Oh yeah… I guess I should take out the custom forbidden page.

Posted in Bad Day, Family, Mom | 3 Comments »

Looney bin

So I went to the looney bin, and I almost went looney and got locked in a padded room shortly after I was there. Okay, so I checked in. The only way to get admitted is to tell them you are suicidal, or else your insurance won’t pay for it. So I went through a million questions, and then I went up to the unit. First of all, there’s a unit for people who are just depressed and pretty much normal. Well, that unit was full, so they told me they have to put me on one with people who have more “acute” problems. I asked “like what?” She said people who hear and see things and such. I didn’t dare ask if they are homicidal lol. I kept thinking of how I was going to wake up to my roommate trying to strangle me in the middle of the night.

Anyways, the reason I almost lost it: I got up there at 2:30am. I was asked a million questions by the nurse, and this new nurse got there at 3am. When everything was done I asked if I could call my mom to let her know I was there. The nurse that was leaving said yes, but to ask the other nurse. THAT BITCH SAID NO. I immediately started crying, and I told her that I have dogs. She said no, so I went into my room crying, and then I came out and said that I wanted to check myself out right now. She said it may take until 6am. I said that was fine and went in my room. Then they came in and asked if I would stay if they let me call my mom, and I said yes.

Then I called my mom, and I told them I want to get checked out anyways. So she called the man that admitted me, and he said they would TDO (temporary detaining order) me. Petition the court do demand I stay there for 2 days. Grrrr. So I threatened them. I said “I am hungry, and you don’t have food I can eat. I have a medical condition, and if you don’t feed my ass, I’ll sue you.” Haha. So he asked if I could eat chili or mashed potatoes, and I said yes.

So this is what REALLY pissed me off. This nice man goes and gets me some food. There’s two trays of food. There’s stuff in them, but one has chili, and one has mashed potatoes. I go to eat it, and it’s cold. So I ask the man if they have a microwave. He says yes. So the nurse said “which one do you want?” I told her both because I can only eat one thing from each of them. She said “PICK ONE!” So I said the chili and cried some more. Then he warmed it up. He gave it to me, and I wanted to throw it in her fucking face so bad. But I knew if I did, I’d probably be charged with assault and go to jail. So I ate it, and threw it up, of course. I called her a bitch. She said “excuse me?” I said “nothing.”

I was telling the people that work there what happened, the next day. They gave me a complaint form to fill out, and it will go in her record. Everyone else that worked there was really nice.

The people up there weren’t even all that crazy, that I could tell. Everyone seemed perfectly normal, except for this one lady who talked to herself 24/7, and you couldn’t understand a word she was saying. I thought it was funny though. I really do love crazy people.

My doctor let me out this morning. My doctor that I have on the outside came to see me in there. I ate yogurt and drank Ensure while I was there.

I really did mean to go get some liquid taken out of my band before I leave tomorrow morning. Everything just happened so quickly. Now I have to suffer. It seems like it is getting worse and not better.

I have to wake up at 4am I hope I can fall asleep, and I hope I don’t wake up in the middle on the night. I am going to Niagara Falls tomorrow. It’s minutes from where my aunt lives. It’s supposed to rain though Should I not use my camera in the rain? That’s probably a dumb question.

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Liars

So I freaking went. I’ll write about the stupid place later. I am mad because I get home, and I look in my call history, and there is a call to Andrew’s phone at 7:30pm last night. I didn’t bring my phone, and I was most definitely not here. My cousin and mom deny calling him. He is in my phone book so I will realize it’s him and not answer the phone. They better have accidentally called him. His name is next to my mom’s in my phone book, and sometimes the iPhone is stupid and calls the number above or below it. Yeah, the call is at 7:30pm, and the next call after that is 7:03am. Both my mom and cousin are liars, so I don’t know. I bet you anything my mom called him. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. My cousin says they weren’t even here at 7:30pm. Well, my phone does not call people on it’s own.

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