Girl-Interrupted.net

Hello

OMG I get soooo stressed out when I go to get an oil change. Seriously every time I leave, I leave almost crying. They are like: you need this, this, this, this and this. I don’t know why it is so stressful for me. My mommy went with me this time thank God.

We went to Target and I bought a new trash can, clothes hamper and desk trash can. Just the cheap plastic kind. Rather than clean them I think it is easier to buy a new one. I also bought some brake fluid because Jiffy Lube said I needed some, but that they aren’t allowed to put it in. Now I need to ask my dad if he can. I bought some hand soap and body wash too. I haven’t been shopping in forever and I really didn’t miss it. I haven’t been buying anything other that what I need lately. I have NO desire to even shop. When I go to a store I go in and get what I need and get the hell out.

After all that I was exhausted and started to feel sick again so I came home. I am still feeling extremely sick to my stomach. I had a ton of sleep last night but I feel like I had none. Things that don’t normally bother me are starting to big time. I hope I continue to get better. We will see how I feel after I take the med I went down on at like 2pm.

The mail man just cheered me up… he had a package for me and he rings my doorbell and says “Thank God you moved to the first floor.” I think he has a crush on me and he is pretty cute. My mom has been ordering a ton of things off of eBay and I used to live on the 2nd floor, that’s why he said that. He is such a sweet heart.

I talked to Babz last night and Emily today. They always make me feel better ♥

Edit @ 5:08pm
I DON’T FEEL GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t take this much longer. I feel like I am on the edge of losing my mind. As I was just typing this I ran to the bathroom and puked and now I am shaking really bad. I am very bad off.
/Edit

Posted in General | 5 Comments »

The plan

My mom and I decided what we are going to do. Of course it could change like it has a million times, but this is what we think is best. She is going to move into my SMALL apartment with me and put all her stuff in storage. She is going to bring her dogs because my landlord most likely won’t mind but we are going to try to hide it from him. It’s not like we see him often and if I do I will just tell him I am watching them or something.

Anyways with her staying here we will be able to save up like $50,000 in a year for a down payment on a house. Yes, it is going to suck living in this small apartment, but in the long run it will be worth it. Sometimes you have to suffer and sacrifice to get what you want.

This probably won’t happen till summer or the end of summer because she still owes $7,000 on her truck and she is trying to get it paid off first so she has no car payment.

Anyways every day is getting easier and easier with going off these meds. Yesterday kind of sucked because I was sooooo tired. I tried taking no medicine to help me sleep the night before, and I slept but woke up over and over all night and fell back asleep.

My mom helped me clean my kitchen. Something I am bad about and Babz can tell you that. I mean I am not disgusting, but I am bad about wiping cabinets down and stuff like that. It looks so much better in there now.

I also went to Target ♥ and got some shampoo stuff for my Hoover Floor Mate (my mom gave me her old one a while back). I also got some Draino because my hair clogs up the bathtub sooo bad. I swear I lose so much hair in one day I am amazed I have any left.

One of the meds my doctor gave me for anxiety or sleeping is making me feel sick to my stomach constantly. I think it is the Restoril for sleep because I haven’t taken the Xanax in a few days. Every smell and sometimes for no reason I feel like I am going to puke.

Posted in Family, General, Mom | 3 Comments »

Lalalala

Yesterday was horrible. Then I took my medicine at like 5pm and fell asleep at 8pm and woke up at 6am. I stayed up for like a half hour and went to bed untill almost 11am. I feel a lot better so far. I know today will end up being hard too but it is getting better. For those of you who missed it… the reason I am going through a horrible time right now is because I am slowly being taken off of one of my meds.

I had to take the dogs to the groomers at 7am yesterday. Well my mom picked me up with her two and we had my two in the car and it was madness. My two hate the car. Mostly Frenchie though. Her two love the car. We had to wait until like 1pm to pick them up. Andy had to get his ears shaved because they were matted so he looks kind of funny.

Today I have to go get my medicine refilled and all of them transfered to Eckerd, because of course, I am no longer going to Rite Aid. Then I have to go to the grocery store.

Now on every Monday and every other Friday I am going to be baby sitting for the lady that has the day care. She has something she has to do on those days. I guess she decided she liked me and asked me to do it regularly I really enjoy doing it and the money is great so I am happy she asked.

Well, I am going to go get ready to get some stuff done.

Posted in Bipolar, General, Health, Medication | 5 Comments »

Man

I can’t function anymore. I haven’t cleaned in days. I haven’t taken a shower in almost 3 (gross I know). I have no cigarettes and I don’t feel like I have the energy to go to the store to get any, that shows you how bad off I am. I don’t know what to do. I am not going to answer my phone unless it is my mom because I don’t want anybody to ask me to do something. I also desperately need to clean the litter box.

Edit @ 3:00pm
I feel better. I took a xanax. This whole xanax and restoril thing is temporary. I believe they are narcotics. I am just using them to help me to get used to going down 25mg on my doxepin and should only need them no more than 2 weeks. Believe me there is nothing I hate more than druggies because I have seen so many people be hurt over them and people screw their lives up. I would never do something like that. Although I did go a few months with kind of abusing Ambian but thank God I never developed an “addiction.”

Sooo I took a shower, went to the gas station and cleaned the litter box
/Edit

Posted in Bipolar, General, Health, Medication | 7 Comments »

Tired

New layout and I am still fixing things so it probably wont be fully done tonight. It’s only a matter of time until this Restoril knocks me out. Yes my psychiatrist is turning me into a junkie.

Edit @ 7:32pm
My mom is driving me f’in NUTS. She is most definitely going through a mid life crisis and I am not stable so I cannot take it. She has always been the most normal person I know so it’s weird. OKAY I AM GOING TO BED!
/Edit

Posted in General, Health, Medication | 5 Comments »

Helloooooo

Edit @ 4:03am
Click on the image to see the new plugin I just installed.

Gosh all I have to do is watch an infomercial, QVC, etc… for 10 minutes and I’m sold. I just ordered the Shark Steam Blaster and it seems sooooo cool. I can’t wait to get it.

/Edit

I am watching the 6 kids again, but they are all sleeping. Who can turn down $15.00 an hour to watch sleeping kids. Well the big ones will be waking up soon, but they all are so well behaved.

I just got back from the gyno. I will most likely have to have surgery in 2-2 1/2 months. The Provera did not make my cysts go down at all. She is going to try me on the birth control for 2 months and see if they go down. If I do have surgery it is out paitent and they make two small incisions in my tummy. She said it is like getting your tubes tied… but of course that is not what I am getting. They will drill holes in my cysts… DRILL?!?! I mean couldn’t they poke holes? They drill? Are my cysts that tough that they need a drill to do it haha.

I hate surgery so I am kind of nervous.

Other than that I have just been keeping busy babysitting and doing other things.

Tonight I plan on searching to find the address for the CEO of Rite Aid. I talked to a lawyer and he said theres nothing I can do because I was not “damaged” in any way. I am not the type of person that looks for reasons to file a lawsuit… I just wanted to check into it.

Oh and thank you Dr C. for the Xanax for anxiety. Of course I don’t plan on abusing them but why do druggies like them they barely did anything to me but take my anxiety away?

Posted in General, Health, Medication | 6 Comments »

That’s what you get

My mom made her decision. She was going to leave my dad and be with that guy. Well, HE DIDN’T WANT HER. She went to talk to him today and he can’t forgive her. She never told him that she was married until like a week ago. He won’t forgive her for it. So she hurt my feelings and now is not with the man that she loves. I told her it’s her own fault. The only advice I have, which we conveniently heard less than an hour after she told me, “IF YOU CAN’T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, THEN LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH!!!” lol.

Sooooooo we went to the drug store because I talked to my gyno today and the provera was like a one time thing and now she is putting me on birth control. Well, I went there and they told me that my insurance doesn’t cover the kind of BC that she prescribed for me I have to call her tomorrow and tell her.

Posted in General, Mom | 4 Comments »

A post about everything and nothing

My mom said she is going to think about what she wants to do this week. She did apologize to me a million times. She said she didn’t want to hurt me that is why she didn’t tell me. I hope she stays with my dad but whatever she does I am okay with.

I just called my doctor and I am waiting for her to call me back. It’s been 7 days and I am still bleeding like crazy. I can’t believe I wanted to get this crap!

The lady that runs a daycare just called me and I am going to baby sit for her today at 1pm and Friday from 3:30-5:30. I am also babysitting for the usual girl Christy on Friday and her friend. That is at night though.

I feel a lot better today. Before my mom even told me what was going on I could not stay asleep all night long. That never happens to me. For like 5 days I would wake up every few hours and not be tired then a few hours later get tired again. I slept real good last night though.

I ordered another Oreck Air Purifier this time a better one and off of eBay. I don’t know if I said that before. I love them for some reason. I believe they really do work although I don’t really have proof other than the fact that it smells cleaner in here and all the crap that the metal grid collects.

Posted in (Step)Dad, Family, General, Mom | 3 Comments »

WOW!!

My mom has been having a break down all day. She FINALLY admitted everything to me. After 4 months of telling me I am crazy she admitted she was having an afair. She said she loved him too. She told me they “broke up” (or whatever you call it) yesterday because she wont leave my dad. It was pretty shocking that she told me. I was just there for her. She has been crying off and on all day. I just took a 3 hour nap and called her and she is crying again and said “I am talking to daddy can I call you back?” I hope she didn’t tell him.

I am really worried about her because she has been crying since I went over there at 9am. She has been up since 2am so I know she is tired. I know what being tired can do to your emotions.

I was really shocked when she told me that she loved him. I never thought she would be in love with him. It is just weird to me. Most of all no matter what happens is I want her to be happy. It is killing me to see her like this. I am usually the one people are telling “It will be okay Marie.” Not that I am selfish it’s just that I am not a strong person myself so it’s hard to be strong for other people especially someone you love so much. It is hurting me very bad, but I will be there for her no matter what.

I HAVE to be the strong one though because one thing she is worried about is what TJ and I are going to think. She said as much as she loved that guy she loves my brother and I more. She is not really sure what she wants to do as far as staying with my dad or not, but she said it is 100% over with that guy.

I added pics of my apartment to the gallery.

Posted in (Step)Dad, Family, General, Mom | 3 Comments »

Grrrrrr

Its 4:30 am and my cable modem is still down and AOL charged me when it was supposed to be 3 months free. Don’t ask me why I am awake.

Posted in General | 3 Comments »