June 14th, 2006 Marie
I have been wanting to smoke so bad today. I am scared. Right now I know that I will not smoke. I am scared that will change though. I went a month and a half before then I started again. I don’t want that to happen again.
Remember that lady I was babysitting for. Well, I babysat for her a few weeks ago. They wrote me a check. I deposited it in my bank account… and guess what… it bounced!!! I got charged a fee for their check bouncing too. That is a fucked up. They basically stole from me. I called her to tell her and she never returned my phone call. I left a message on her machine. Everyone keeps telling me I should go over there but I don’t want to.
Okay I am going to try to get some sleep.
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June 13th, 2006 Marie
One time, like 4 years ago, I was sued by some asshole for breaking a verbal contract. The judge said I had to pay $300.00 of the $600.00 I was being sued for.
Now I am being taken to court for a car I don’t even have. When I decided I didn’t want to work anymore like 3 years ago I gave them my car back. Basically a voluntary repossession. Now I owe them $5,547.31 and $1,386.83 in court costs after my court date. I will be damned if I am going to pay anybody 5 grand for a car I don’t even have. I don’t know if I’m even going to go to the court date. It says you don’t have to go unless you want to dispute it. It is on June 21st. I am glad they left the court summons on my door for all my neighbors to see and with my social security number on it.
Lord they need to teach young teens responsibility when it comes to credit and stuff like that. That is the only bad thing on my credit report and it pisses me off. Looking back I was so stupid for buying that car.
Still no cigarettes. I really wanted one this morning after my mom was such a bitch. She is seriously going through a mid-life crisis or something. All she does anymore is bitch, bitch, bitch. She used to be so nice and such a sweet heart. I cannot even handle her anymore.
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June 11th, 2006 Marie
This is going to turn into my quit smoking blog hehe. Right now I want a cigarette so damn bad. There is no way I am going to smoke one though. Not that I even have any. I am 100% serious this time about quitting. Last time I quit for a month and a half. This time it’s for good.
I am nervous about when I see Emily. She is going to be smoking and we will be drunk and I will want one. Damn… EmmaLee DO NOT let me smoke. Just like I didn’t let you buy french fries at Burger King that one time haha.
I am sorry if I bore all my readers… you don’t have to comment. I guess blogging about this helps a little. I probably will be a lot. I don’t have much else to blog about because my life is kinda boring at the moment.
I am trying to get Chris to let me take a picture of his dick haha. I know it sounds weird. Emily just wants to see how big it is. Chris says it’s not going to happen though. He is really shy so I am sure he will never let me. He’s not the type of person I can bribe either. Oh well, maybe he will let me measure it lol.
Well, that’s about all that’s going on with me right now. I am going to go be bored some more. At least all this boringness is helping me catch up on house work.
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June 10th, 2006 Marie
I decided I would start to quit smoking today. The first few hours were bad but then I busted out the Commit Lozenges. I had a huge box of the gum but I think I may have thrown it away. HELLO MARIE, that was stupid. It cost like $50.00. I can’t find it anywhere so my guess is I threw it away when I was in a super cleaning/organization frenzy. I do that sometimes. Just go through all my crap and start throwing stuff away. Months later I start looking for it and can’t remember if I threw it away. I wish I didn’t. Oh well, I like the lozenges better. They seem to work better for me.
It’s kind of sad when you can’t even find a man in your own country. When you have to drive hours and hours to the US to meet someone that you have met online. When you have heard this nasty rumor about him but you are going to fuck him anyways. That’s what I call desperate!
Emmalee If you read this call me and let me know how the bartending job interview went. Good I hope!! Love you!!!!!
I think I am going to be successful with quitting. The hardest part though is being around other people that smoke. That will be the real test. Man I hope I can do it!!!!! I did it before so I can do it again, huh?
My new best friend:
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June 8th, 2006 Marie
Yeah today was a lot better.
I took my babies to the groomers at 7am. Then I came home and went back to sleep. I went and picked them up. Their hair is SHORT and it makes them look soooooo skinny. They look like I starve them.
I talked to my neighbor outside for like a half hour. I found out some interesting stuff. Just gossip.
I got this letter in the mail from Cox Cable. It said that if I bring my home phone service back to them that they will give me 6 months free!!!! All I have to do is pay taxes and for caller ID and call waiting. Well they were signing me up and they told me that they still had my old phone number and I could have it if I want. That was pretty cool.
Oooo there’s this song on from Back to the Feature. My first crush ever = Michael J Fox. He’s ugly now though.
Anyways I am quitting smoking in 2 days. Wish me luck.
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June 7th, 2006 Marie
So many things are going on with me. From the problem with anxiety because of Xanax to my PCOS, another surgery I may get, now I am sick as shit. I threw up once yesterday and slept like all day. Today I’m not tired but I have thrown up every bit of all 3 meals I ate today.
The only thing that is getting me through this is my friends. Emily, Christy, Maria, Ally, Ashley, Dorka and my babies. Emily and I have known each other for around 15 years and I don’t know what I would do without her. We talk on the phone every night and she is the best listener. As long as we have known each other we have got into very few fights. I guess maybe opposites attract… at least with friends. I can’t wait to go visit her this summer. Nobody can make me laugh the way she does.
Well, I better get back into bed.
Edit 6/8 @ 8:01am
I feel better today. Of course I haven’t ate anything yet. The dogs are at the groomers so it is peaceful here.
/Edit
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June 6th, 2006 Marie
I’m not having surgery on the 28th. That day is going to be Andy’s 1st birthday. While my doctor could do it that day the hospital didn’t have any openings. I am now scheduled for July 21st. Emily’s birthday. She says its good luck 
They put me on the cancellation list incase something opens.
I am so stupid. I almost totally rear-ended someone today. I hit my gas really hard instead of the breaks. Luckily I acted quick and slammed on the breaks. I was inches away from her car. Every accident I have been in is because of me being dumb. From backing up with out looking to taking a sleeping pill and not sleeping and driving hours later. I am such a blonde sometimes. I guess it’s the blonde in my strawberry-blonde hair.
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June 5th, 2006 Marie
The surgery is scheduled for Wednesday June 28th. They are going to go in my belly button and right above my bikini line and do the surgery. She said there is a chance they may have to go in my vagina, but it is unlikely.
I was having another crappy day but I feel better. I found out that my mom and dad are giving me their almost brand new leather couch 
God I love how they get sick of furniture so quick. If only they got sick of their cars as much.
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June 5th, 2006 Marie
I just realized yesterday that I have the world�s flattest ass. Christy and I went to the mall and I bought some new undies. We got to her house and I was going to try them on. I was telling her I think they are going to be too small and my ass is totally going to be hangin out. She was trying to tell me that my ass is supposed to hang out. Well, I try them on and my ass didn’t even hang out 
If anything they were too big in the ass. How do you get a larger butt?
I think I made a big decision in my life. Christy helped me with it. I think I will post about it in a private post. Nothing is ever final with me though, so we will see. If I do it, it will definitely change my life. Hopefully for the better. It’s just scary.
Here’s a touch of my conversations with some people that just shows how much I don’t get along with men:
Nick: make up sex and angry sex are the two best types so its win win with you
Chris: so whats wrong with tonight lol
Me: tonight i look and feel like crap
Chris: so its funny you say you look and feel like crap
Chris: i swear i havnt heard that same exact excuse from u half a dozen times in the past lol
Okay this post was absolutely pointless, but so is life. Can you tell I am in a negative mood?
Okay I am going to bed.
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June 4th, 2006 Marie
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY!!!!!!!!! (I’m 26 minutes late)
Edit @ 2:32am
OMG My stomach and my lower back hurts so bad I can’t even sleep. I am freaking tired as crap too. I took Motrin like an hour ago and it isn’t helping Whyyyyy was I excited to finally have my period again?
/Edit
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