I can’t sleep :(
I am sick of not being able to sleep. Andrew will be out to sea soon, so I think it will be safe to take some ambien. I keep forgetting if it’s “ambien” or “ambian”. Just ignore my retarded posts because I’m sure I will erase them in the morning. I am sure Andrew can deal with the retarded emails. I usually just write a little then get really tired and fall asleep. I love to talk so I wonder why I went to bed when Emily, Eric and my friend were here. I obviously can say awake for at least 14 minutes haha. I am going to tease myself about that for forever.
I just talked to Babz because my mom and brother aren’t going to stay at her hotel. I had to cancel the reservations (and talk to her ;)). It’s like 40 minutes away from where they need to be. They make that seem like forever with the traffic up there, so they say. The trip to get my brother took 12 hours instead of the 7 hours it should have taken. They probably wasted 2 hours trying to get on base and find my brother.
Can you believe they let them on base without a military ID? They are so totally not supposed to do that. My brother’s friend was telling me that they have 24 hour liquor stores on all the bases. Lucky people. Not that I drink liquor anyways. It makes me throw up… just the taste alone. My mom can’t handle it either. My mom has also NEVER liked soda. She says it burns her throat haha. I LOVE soda and I have no clue how I am going to go without it for the rest of my life after my surgery. Damn it… I am pissed about my surgery!!!!!!!!!! Have I said that before? It would have been done and over with, but nooooooo.
Andrew is back to being a MAJOR asshole. At least he isn’t ignoring me. I have gone psycho on him quite a few times and he didn’t get mad. I called him like 7 times the other night because he wouldn’t answer and he said he left his phone in his car, after he finally answered. You just have no clue how mean he is to me. I am not about to tell you either because it really hurts my feelings. It’s my fault though. I realize that. In the way that I could just say “fuck you, I’m through.” Oh well, I always make bad decisions. Why stop now? Why throw away what I have been working on for a year? Him. Maybe I will just waste another year. Maybe I don’t give a fuck because I don’t care about guys. I don’t see it as wasting my time. I have nothing better to do. The only thing that would suck if he gets rid of me completely and I still have feelings for him and they get deeper after time goes by. He is going out to sea for 6 months so maybe that’s my chance to get over him. I’ll be honest, Chris left me for 5 months and I was kind of over him. We still talked but it wasn’t the same after that. I mean I fell back in love with him, but before we got back together I could have lived without him. I don’t really know anything.
I went to this tanning salon by my mom’s today because they have a stand up bed. Mine doesn’t. I ended up going to mine and that one and I am burnt. You are not supposed to go in twice a day. I flipped over on my stomach in the bed today and I didn’t have my glasses on because they just sit on your face. I also didn’t have them on in the stand up bed. I swear I think my eye lids are burnt. I so totally should have not done that. I am buying some with the elastic on them tomorrow. I also ordered some lotion online for $16.94 that is $37.00 in the tanning salon. I CANNOT believe I paid $60.00 for lotion and it has lasted less than a month. That is the most ridiculous thing I have EVER bought. I read online that if you don’t use lotion that you are wasting 7 minutes of tanning time. Also, this website said not to bathe with soap because it can take your tan away. WTF are you supposed to bathe with then hahahaha. I think I’ll ignore that suggestion. It didn’t say to use a special soap or anything. Just soap. I don’t think I could live without soap. I’m so tired and I have said soap so many times it sounds like it’s not a word anymore. I hate that.
Have I bored you to death yet? I need to work on not typing every random thing that runs through my head.
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