Girl-Interrupted.net

Lalalal

So I’m still talking to Andrew It’s so hard to not talk to someone you’ve talked to almost every day for 2 years. One year, 8 months and 11 days, to be exact. I met him June 17th, 2006. I have it in my archives, but I remember it because it was the day after my dad’s birthday. I know the day I slept with Randy because it was St. Patrick’s Day. I ODed the day after because Andrew was so mad at me. Something bad happened between Andrew and I on September 11th. I need to stay away from him or anything that has to do with him on event dates, birthdays and holidays.

I will never let anyone know the address of this site. I am talking to a few guys, and only one knows about Andrew. The only reason I told him is because I don’t like him all that much. Besides, I say wayyyyy too much on this site. I let everyone know how crazy I really am. They can find out that I am crazy after they like me enough to not care. The only one that knows about my surgery is the one I don’t like. I met him in person, and he keeps bugging me to have sex with him. It is SUCH a turn off when someone begs you to have sex with them. Guys are fucking pathetic.

I had no clue that my iPhone can’t receive multimedia messages. You have to login to an AT&T website to see them. I hate that. You have to enter a password and user name they send you. It is random numbers and letters, so it makes it even more annoying. My iPhone also keeps hanging up on Andrew and AT&T customer service. I have no clue why I keep losing my signal only when I am talking to them. I’ve never had a problem with a signal before I got this stupid phone. It hung up on Andrew 3 times yesterday. I got frustrated and told him that I’d call him tomorrow. It hung up on AT&T customer service two times before I even got to talk to anyone.

If I am ever in an emergency, and I need a tube put down to my stomach, it is important that the hospital know that they can’t stick a tube down to my stomach without a scope. They could rip my stomach open. That makes me nervous.

I am going to the gym now. Bye bye

Edit-

OMG you can’t even save the multimedia messages because they are Adobe Flash Player files. The message also expires in 7 days. I guess I am back to my search for the perfect cell phone lol. The BlackBerry Curve came close, except for the horrible battery life.

Posted in Andrew, Lap-Band Surgery | 2 Comments »

Decision

I’m sad to say that I am honestly falling out of love with Andrew. Maybe I’ll fall back in love with him one day, maybe not. I wanted all of his attention for so long, now that I have it, I don’t want it. I can’t take him anymore. He is a miserable person, and now I know it’s not my fault and I can’t change him. I have even been talking to other guys. He was miserable last night, as usual. He gets depressed sometimes, and I don’t know. I get depressed too, but it’s nothing like him. He gets so mean. He has tried to make me happy, and his best isn’t good enough for me. I would be so miserable living with him. I swear, he hasn’t told me that I can’t live with him, it’s my decision. Last night made me really realize. He has serious problems, and I always thought it was me.

I got an iphone yesterday. It’s annoying as shit. I hate typing on it.

I am hurt, even though it’s my decision.

Edit-
Okay, I thought about it. I don’t know if I am still in love with him or not. I know I still love him. But I still don’t want to be with him.

I barely ate anything yesterday. Most of what I ate, I threw up. I lost a pound.

Posted in Andrew, General, Lap-Band Surgery | 2 Comments »

I hate my life… as usual

Being bipolar or having a mental illness is the hardest thing I can imagine going through. I would rather be in any amount of physical pain than go through this.

I am obsessing over something that I only share with very few people. The only people I have ever told is my mom, Emily, Janet and Sarah.

I woke up in a REALLY bad mood. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I have no clue why because my new medicine has been knocking me the fuck out every single night.

I texted Andrew and told him that I’m not in love with him anymore. I told him that loving him is just a bad habit I can’t seem to break. I don’t know if it’s true or not. I don’t know anymore. If I really do move with him, I bet you anything that I’ll end up leaving him. I can’t take his shit anymore. I can’t take his smart ass attitude. He doesn’t really say mean things to me anymore, but I still can’t take it. He is a miserable person to be around. No one will ever put up with his shit.

I am EXTREMELY in debt. I can’t stop shopping. I seriously need help. It’s making me more depressed. I will be paying off my credit cards for probably 30 years. Or until my mom pays them off for me so I can run them up again. If she does, I will cancel them and just keep my $500.00 credit card. It was $300, but they increased the limit. There is seriously something wrong with me.

I am sick of throwing up. I am waiting for the day to feel excruciating pain in my stomach to tell me that my band has slipped. I will be SO lucky if it doesn’t, as much as I throw up. I don’t want to have surgery again.

My scars from the surgery look SO good. You can barely see them anymore. Like I even care with all the stretch marks I have. My thighs are getting saggy; my arms are getting saggy. My ass looks pathetic. But it always has. My back goes straight down to the bottom of my ass. Andrew says he’ll like me more when I get a boob job. See what I mean? It was my question, but still. I don’t know if he was serious or not. Why did I have to fall in love with him out of all people? Why did either one of us let things go as far as the have? Trust me, he did. If it was some other guy, I would have gave up on him a LONG time ago. I loved Chris so much when he broke up on me, but he didn’t let things continue, so I left him alone, and I fell out of love with him. I feel like I have waisted almost two years of my life. Maybe I could have met someone that really makes me happy, instead of wasting my time on Andrew. But you know me, I know me, I am going to waste more time on him.

One gooooood thing about living alone is that you don’t have a husband or kids that want to eat junk food that you can’t have. Every time I go to my mom’s house, I get so tempted to eat all of the crap she has. OMG, she had girl scout cookies the other day, and I didn’t have one.

I hate my life.

Posted in Andrew, Bipolar, Health, Lap-Band Surgery | 2 Comments »

198

Damn, it just won’t stop. I weigh 198 this morning. 60 pounds!!!!!

My brother got a $75,000 re-enlistment bonus for re-enlisting in the Navy. He got the job with the Seals and is moving back home in June, I think. This is a HUGE Military area. That’s why he’ll be moving here. I think we have the largest Military base (Navy) in the country here in Norfolk (like 15 minutes from VA Beach). But there’s a lot more than one Military base here. There’s Navy, Marines, Army and Air Force bases here. I don’t complain. A LOT of hot guys. Some girls hate them, but I don’t. I love going to The Navy Exchange with Christy. It’s just a regular department store, but you have to show your Military ID to buy anything. Hot guys in uniform walk around there.

My cousin keeps getting in trouble since my parents “adopted” her. She took out her cell phone out at school and got ISS. She is grounded for a week. So I notice she got on myspace yesterday when she was supposed to be grounded. My parents kept asking her how. They lock the office up with a key with their laptop and computer in there. They also have a safe in there. So they were asking her how, and she lied for 15 minutes saying she didn’t get online. She was saying her friend has her password. She finally admitted it and said that she searched my parent’s room for the key and unlocked the door to the office. That was only two things. There has been others, but I forget. I would be more strict than my parents. The only reason she is grounded for a week is because they kept grounding her for 2 days and she still isn’t learning her lesson. Oh yeah… she stole my mom’s cell phone and was texting pictures of God knows what to her boyfriend a couple weeks ago.

Posted in Family, Lap-Band Surgery, TJ | 4 Comments »

I don’t know what to say!

I am speechless.

Posted in Lap-Band Surgery | 4 Comments »

Hi

I was too shy to hit on hot UPS guy today.

I wear size 14 now. 16s are too big on me. 14s are still too big in the legs. I don’t believe that my size and weight match up, but you have to remember, I have an EXTREMELY small ass and EXTREMELLYYYYY small legs. The 14s still fit me in the stomach. I’ve been wearing two size 16 pants. One of them still fit me (the ones Sarah gave me), the other I have had to wear a belt with for a while, just put on the other two, and they’re too big. I tried on the size 14s my mom gave me, and they fit, but like I said, too big in the legs still.

I am going to go to a knitting class now. I am so excited about going back to the knitting class. I hope it’s not the same dumb ass teacher.

Posted in General, Lap-Band Surgery | No Comments »

1 more pound

Posted in Lap-Band Surgery | No Comments »

Boredddddd

I’m boreddddd. I have been to everyone’s sites a million times. When I am bored, it’s like a habit to visit my dailies. I do it without even thinking. I am also wayyyy into flickr now. I didn’t get it for a long time, but it’s addictive. I love looking at everyone’s photos. Something I never do, though, is visit new sites. I can’t get into reading posts about someone I don’t know, or haven’t read their blog for a little while. I NEVER comment on people’s sites besides my dailies. I even have trouble returning comments.

Lalalaala. I am SO bored today. I have been keeping busy, so that’s probably why I feel so bored. I am having trouble waiting to call Andrew. He is in Richmond, and I know he has a job interview. He HATES talking on the phone, but I force him. He can talk to me for a long time, so I don’t know why he hates it so much. You can even tell he hates it by those recordings I posted, that he made me delete. I can’t believe he was mad about that. He said it was psycho for me to do and he was disappointed in me. It was a joke. He gets mad so easily.

I didn’t even look to see what time I put these Whitestrips on. Damn. They are not making much of a difference, but I didn’t put them on for awhile because I was SO depressed. I was too depressed to even put them on. I have 4 left, and you use two a day.

I NEED to get my dogs groomed SO bad. I hate going there. It’s a pain in the butt.

I can’t go to the gym today for a certain reason. It’s not because I have my period, because I don’t give a fuck about that.

My apartment is mostly clean. I could always dust. I never dust. I hate it. It doesn’t get that dusty in here anyways. My mom’s house gets real dusty.

Edit-

Oh yeah, the insurance company decided that it was both my mom’s fault and the other ladies. So they don’t have to pay anything

Posted in Andrew | No Comments »

How to hit on hot UPS guy?

I ordered a cute new mouse pad from zazzle.com. They sent it UPS. There’s no estimated delivery date on UPS’s website, and the last time it was scanned was on the 14th in CA. I need to know when it will be here. I am scared, though. I plan on getting dressed up and seducing hot UPS guy some way, some how. I won’t kiss any other guys, but I will kiss him. Not that I plan on kissing him. I don’t know what to do. What if I do/say something and he doesn’t like it. I will be too scared to ever have anything shipped from UPS again. He has been coming here for at least 3-4 years, and I still have never looked to see if he has a wedding band on. I am too busy staring at him. What should I say? I don’t know how to hit on guys. This one is especially hard because I’ve seen him for so long, and I will see him many more times… on business. I need to get drunk. I know he comes between 2-4 every day. Usually around 3:00. I know I will be too scared. If only I could get him in my apartment. “I am sorry, but that mouse pad is really heavy. Do you think you could bring it in for me?” I need help!!!!!! What do I say to him? I can hit on guys just fine when I am hangin out with them, but not when I see them for a brief second. I wanttttttttttt him soooooooooooo bad. I would have sex with him right then, right there. How the fuck do you hit on a UPS guy?

Posted in General | 1 Comment »

Lap-Band

I just got back from the surgeons. I lost 14 pounds since I saw him last. I saw him on the 17th of last month, I believe. That’s one month and one day. Andrew hates when I do that lol. Like you guys couldn’t figure out how long it was.

I don’t want people to believe that lap-band makes you lose that much weight, because it doesn’t. I have lost over 40% of my extra weight. It takes most people a year to do that… they say. I don’t know, though, because the people on the lap-band forum are doing pretty good. I think it would take you that long if you didn’t eat healthy and exercise. I have cheated very few times, but I have cheated. I don’t eat candy or anything like that, but I have had pizza two times and chicken nuggets a few times. I had chocolate on Christmas Eve, and I think that’s it. 20 pounds before the surgery. 37 after the surgery in 3 months and 4 days.

I liked that last fill he gave me It was too much, but I didn’t say anything. It was worth the torture of not being able to eat and getting food stuck. I have only thrown up 2 times in the last 4 days. Food has got stuck, but I can manage not to throw it up sometimes.

I didn’t ask him about the boob job because there was a nurse in there and two students. I don’t think I have any questions about it anyways. I will think of some later. I have a long time to wait until I can get one. However long it takes me to lose the rest of my weight. I probably won’t lose as much this month because I didn’t get filled. I didn’t need to, though. I think I would have turned one down if her offered.

I am soooooooo happy!!!!

Andrew checked his email too, and he said he will when he gets home. Not that it means he will. I have been texting him a million times instead of emailing him anyways. He doesn’t complain, but I’d hate to see his phone bill. I know he doesn’t have unlimited texting. I’m surprised he hasn’t complained about it yet. I still don’t believe he is looking at his phone bill. I need to ask him, but I don’t want to bring it up so he will complain. I would think he’d complain about his phone beeping all the time because he is anal like that.

I’m off to hang out with my guy friend. I need someone just in case Andrew doesn’t work out. Not that I would give a fuck about any other guys if Andrew didn’t work out. And no, I haven’t slept with him or even kissed him, and I don’t plan on it. I want to hang ot with Shane (my friend for 12 years), but I know he will try to kiss me. I just want him to see me now since I haven’t seen him in a few months.

Posted in Andrew, Lap-Band Surgery | No Comments »