Fine
I am basically fine now. I had a horrible morning yesterday. I was crying my ass off in my psychiatrists office. I was crying so hard and whimpering. I waited and cried for about 30-45 minutes. There was people in there. An old lady sat next to me to try to cheer me up. When she left, this lady acroos the room whispered “are you okay?” It’s amazing how kind humans are. I went up to the front desk and told them I would be outside so to please have my doctor come out there and get me. The lady called my doctor and demanded that she see me immediately. So I went back immediately. Some lady left and there as one lady before me. I felt back because that lady was waiting for a long time.
I got my doctor to give me 1mg ativan. I am almost out, two days later, because 1mg doesn’t do shit. After that I calmed down. I have been talking to Andrew basically all day long for the past few days.
My mom took me out to dinner and shopping last night. We went to Ruby Tuesday’s and shared a meal since I cant eat much. I had 3 bites of food in 2 days. I lost 2 pounds. That was all I had to eat yesterday. I had steak, crab cake, and broccoli. We had mashed potatoes too, but I didn’t eat any. I threw most of the food up in their bathroom. I guess I threw it all up, but I came out and had a few more bites and I didn’t throw that up. We went to the mall. I went to Macy’s and went to Mac and got 3 eyeshadows, 2 brushes, and 2 eyeliners. My mom definitely felt bad for me if I didn’t even have to convince her to buy buy it all.
I got my first pair of jeans from a skinny store! I got a size 14 pair of jeans from American Eagle. They fit me perfectly. I don’t need a belt, and they are not too tight. I got an XL shirt from there. That really cheered me up. I got 5 pairs of undies from Victoria’s Secret. All size large.
I feel like everyone is going to think I was so stupid for believing that Andrew would let me move with him. It was stupid of me, but at least he will be gone. I can move on with my life. I am sure I will still talk to him and maybe visit him. But I will try to like other guys. Another guy is sure to get my mind off of him. I will try to keep busy. Believe it or not, I am not depressed. I am not depressed like I get when I post here. I am just very sad. Leslie gave me some good advice on how hard changes are. I always talk to her. She is very smart.
BTW, I canceled all of my domains, and was able to get them back. I canceled my myspace and flickr. I have a new flickr now. I found a program to backup all your photos you have one there.
Maybe this is a good thing, even though it hurts SO bad right now. Maybe I can convince my mom to take me shopping today. I am only going to have one pair of jeans while I lose weight. I will buy one pair when I lose another size. You can wear jeans a few times, and it’s not like I don’t have a washer and dryer. I don’t care what other people think. I have never really cared about what people think of me. I do in some ways, but not very much.
I am going to go to my mom’s now and try not to call Andrew too much today.
Edit-
Oh yeah, my GPS got stolen from my car. I ALWAYS lock the doors, and the window wasn’t broken, so they must have another way to get in. I am so upset.
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