Damn, all of my posts are like really long now
No fair… my brother is going to Dublin, Ireland and Amsterdam for 3 weeks when he moves back here. I wish he would ask me to go so bad, but I am poor anyways. Maybe if I didn’t run my credit card up again. Why did I have to do that? Do you ever spend a lot of money, and you’re like… “hmmmm, what did I spend it on?” All I can remember is my MacBook Pro. I wonder if he’s going to smoke pot. He has a long vacation until he has to go back to work. I don’t think he would, though, because he’s not like that. But that’s why everyone wants to go to Amsterdam, at least the dumb people I know… or used to know. If I went to Amsterdam, I can guarantee that I would not smoke pot. I hate pot. It gives me really bad anxiety. I smoked it with Emily a while ago, and I only did it because she gave me some anxiety pills to take before we smoked it. Pot used to be great when I was younger, but not anymore. I quit when I was 16. Lots of people that used to smoke pot tell me the same thing. They say that they don’t like it anymore because it makes them paranoid. It makes me paranoid too, but it’s more like anxiety.
I don’t know how I was able to eat a lot of chili last night, when the day before I was throwing up ice cream. I have ate solid stuff a few times, but most of the time I can’t. Maybe I’ll try to get some sushi tonight. My band is really so tight in the morning. I can’t eat anything in the mornings. It hurts when I take large sips in the morning. It was so weird that I was starving after I ate it too. I probably could have ate 2 or 3 of them., and that’s a lot of food, even for someone who hasn’t had weight loss surgery. Maybe not 3 of them, but I could have ate some more. I know if I get some sushi tonight, and I can’t eat it, I’ll be forcing myself to because it is SO good.
Dude, the iPhone is a piece of SHIT!!!! I have been with AT&T/Cingular/Suncom since I was 18. That’s 7 years, and I have ALWAYS had PERFECT reception with EVERY phone I have EVER had. I have had a lot of phones too. Well, I was wondering why no one has called me today, especially my mom, and I try to make a phone call, and I have no signal. This happened the other day. Two people told me that my phone calls were going to voicemail, and I could not make any phone calls for about an hour after I woke up. Well, it’s been a while since I woke up, and still no signal. I just turned it off and back on, and then I had a signal. I just called my mom, and yeah, she tried to call, and it went right to voicemail.
I need to go shopping 
I never go shopping anymore. It’s because my check card is declining, and then I can’t tell my mom that I spent money I don’t have and ask her for it. I am going to try it right now online. I am going to try to buy the Projekt Revolution tickets. Grrrrr it declined. I got one overdraft fee, and now it declines. It did this once before, and then it started working again. I know… I am so bad. OMG, I wasn’t even paying attention. A $6.00 parking fee and an $8.95 convenience fee, for each ticket! What a rip off. So two $20.95 tickets were $70.00. WTF is a convenience fee? Because I am buying them online? My stupid electric company charges that when you pay your bill online. You’d think it would be easier on them if you pay it online.
God, this stupid guy I met keeps asking me if he can come over almost every day. I keep telling him I have a boyfriend, and his whole agenda last time he came over was to make out with me, but I didn’t. Then when I was mad at Steve the other day he said we should date. It’s so funny how much more guys like me now. I thought I would be bitter about it and think “they wouldn’t have liked me when I was fat”, but I don’t really care. One time he said “we can just lie in bed and talk” haha.
I don’t take pictures of myself still…. like full body pictures. I still feel SO fat. When I look in the mirror I don’t see that I have lost any weight, especially in my face, but people tell me I have lost a lot in my face. Maybe I have, but my face is still so fat. I wish I could get liposuction on my face. I wish I could get a boob job and a tummy tuck. I will be able to get a boob job after I lose all my weight. For that, I am definitely going to quit smoking. Only because I could barely breathe when I woke up from my last surgery, and they had to gave me some asthma medicine, and because you get cut big time, and you don’t heal as well when you smoke. I just looked it up. They gave me Albuterol. My mom’s friend that had gastric bypass just got the skin removed from her arms, that’s it, and it cost $8,000. Insurance will pay for tummy tucks and full body lifts sometimes, but I don’t think mine is severe enough. I’ve lost a little bit in my boobs, but not much. My old bras were wayyyy to big on me though.
All the new Victoria Secret underwear I bought, they won’t stay on me. They fall down, ask Steve. It pisses me off because it’s not like you can give your underwear away lol. If I can’t use something, it makes me feel better to give it away, so I feel like I totally didn’t waste the money. Even if it’s to a thrift store. I don’t like wasting money, even though I do it all the time. I take REALLY good care of my belongings. I never lose or ruin anything, unlike my brother. It pisses me off so bad still that my GPS was stolen. I don’t want to buy another one because I already bought one, and it doesn’t feel right. I don’t even listen to my iPod in my car anymore because I am scared I will forget to take it in, and whoever broke into my car probably saw my AM/FM transmitter (if they realized what it was. they could have thought it was a cellphone charger). I am surprised they didn’t steal that. Thieves will take whatever they can get. I think stealing is SOOOOOO wrong. I don’t steal from stores or anything, but that doesn’t bother me as much because they rip you off anyways. I would never steal from a store because I wouldn’t want to get caught, but if you could guarantee that I wouldn’t get caught, I’d probably do it. I think it is SOOOOOOOOO wrong to steal from a person though. People work hard for what they have. I buy stuff that I don’t have the money for, so it pisses me off even more.
It’s probably because I have seen my parents work SO hard for what they have. They had shitty jobs when I was younger and worked their way up, and they are HARD workers. They worked for and deserve every single thing they own. That’s a lot more than I can say for myself. They never asked anyone for money, and they go to work every single day and work their asses off. Now they don’t work as much because they have better jobs, but they still work hard. I wonder why it didn’t rub off on me. Probably because my mom gives me anything and everything I want. Even when we were poor, both of my parents always made sure we had everything, and put my brother and I before them. They always called me selfish. I don’t think they meant with material things either. I am selfish because I expect everything from everybody, and I don’t mean money. My brother turned out A LOT better than I did. I don’t think it’s always the way you were raised that determines the adult you become. I have seen people come from shitty homes, and they turn out great. I have seen people come from great homes, and they turn out all fucked up. I have seen people with great brothers and sisters, but they are all fucked up. Emily’s sister is a lot like me. She expects everything from her mom and doesn’t work, but Emily works really hard.
Well, I am going to get some money from my mom 
Seriously. Bye bye.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Damn right I work hard and Amanda does didly squat.
Dang you look so different in your pics.
Sexy mama!