Girl-Interrupted.net

Bad mood

Grrrr I woke up in a bad mood too. I better stay away from people today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(|)

Posted in Bad Day, General | No Comments »

:(

OMG I am tired as hell. I am about to go psycho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get in such a HORRIBLE mood when I am tired.

I was already rude to somebody. I just can’t help it. I turn into someone else when I am tired.

I am just so mad about everything in my life. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Everything will be okay. Who gives a fuck about anything. My life is fine. I am happy when I am not tired.

I’m glad Andrew didn’t answer his phone because I cannot handle his ass right now. Then why call him? I have no clue.

Please let me be able to sleep.

Posted in Andrew, Bad Day, General | No Comments »

Beware… I’m bitchy

I was in a good mood…then I had sex and I am in a horrible mood. I got the worst headache ever from sex for some reason. I changed my mind; I don’t like Chris even as a friend. I don’t know why I have sex with him. He just pisses me off. Not lately but in the past he has thrown shit in my face and said shit that was just plain mean.

I don’t know why I even started talking to my old friend Maria again. She is the same wanna be, stuck up, dumb bitch she always was.

I posted a comment on a friend�s myspace page and he deleted it. He told me to post the fucking comment. Well, it was my idea but he agreed that I should post it. If you are supposedly so into me…. never mind I’m not going to go there.

I liked a guy as the people that read my private post know. Well, he supposedly isn’t looking for a long-term relationship, but has said different. He ended our convo with this: “i need to finish packing, just so you know i told you more things about me than most people know.” Is that supposed to make me feel better? No Andrew I am not mad at you in any way and I still wanna hang out. I just need to vent. I don’t think a guy could ever tell a girl the truth even if a gun was to his head. Even the book I am reading states so. (He’s Just Not That into You)

Yeah sex is done with Chris. It’s so damn meaningless that it fucking sucks. I don’t like being fucked with no emotion lol.

I have a bunch of shit to do tomorrow when I really just want to be by myself.

One good thing did happen today. Remember that lady that wrote me a bad check? Well when my bank sent me a copy of it I never noticed it said that I could still try to cash it with the copy. I went to Navy Federal and cashed that shit. I hope it makes some of her checks bounce.

Remember I am a nice person that is just in a REALLY bad mood. Maybe it was the BAD sex. I guess big dicks can’t make up for everything. Andrew you were WAY better. GOOD NIGHT!

Oh and if Andrew is mad at me and things don’t work out with Paul. I swear to God two more years here I come!

Wait something else too… Don’t ever buy that KY Warming Jelly shit. That is the gooiest make a fucking mess shit ever. It’s not the same as the warming oil massage crap, just so you know, its the jelly shit. At least Andrew could keep me wet.

Posted in Andrew, Bad Day, General | 2 Comments »

Fun times

Edit-
I went without it because I didn’t know I only had one pill left late Friday night. Trust me it wasn’t by choice.
/Edit

Today I went without my Lithium for two days.

I ran into a mailbox. Hard. (with my car)

Listened to screaming kids all day.

And ended the night with throwing up all over myself and from the desk all the way to the bathroom.

Posted in Bad Day, General | 3 Comments »

Family lies

Edit @ 5:55pm
It is hard even typing right now. It is only a matter of time until I flip out and do something stupid.
I called him, here is the recording. It’s 10mb and I just can’t mess around with trying to make it smaller. Sorry.
Edit 2/2 6:48pm
It has been made into a very small file so listen to this dumb ass!
/Edit
/Edit

Today my mom has got 100% caught. I talked to her a few times and she was acting funny but claimed she was at work. So I call her work to see if she came in today and she didn’t!!! I decided enough was enough and I needed to know if this number 757-425-**** is her friend “Kathy” as she claims. Well I have tried calling there twice and they never answer. I try to block my number, but it won’t let me through because they have private caller block. I figured they weren’t answering my calls because they saw my name on the caller ID. Maybe my mom told them not to answer my call, who knows.

Well I thought of a clever idea. My brother calls us on skype and it doesn’t show anybody’s name or number. I paid $10.00 for like 8 hours. I then was trying to use it but I didn’t realize I had to put a plus in front of the number. I finally figured that out and called my home phone to test it. It was just like when TJ calls no name or number.

So I call 757-425-**** and a man answers. I was just going to hang up but I decided to get it over with. I said “Is Kathy there?” He said “You have the wrong number.”

Just as I thought. My mom is a compulsive liar. Remember back when I got a message on her cell saying “I love you” blah blah blah. Well, you can see the post here. That was one of the numbers that called her with in the time frame of the message. I was just so convinced it was someone else that I ignored that number.

Well, THANKS MOM THANKS FOR RUINING OUR FAMILY. THANKS FOR LYING TO MY FACE FOR MONTHS. THANKS FOR MAKING ME SLIP INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION.

Posted in Bad Day, Family, General, Mom | 4 Comments »

My life is a cycle

Today I was in one of my moods. If you don’t know what that means, it basically means I will argue with you about anything and everything. I will try to manipulate you into anything, such as trying to convince my mom that it is her fault that I act the way I do. I will also obsessively call you if you do not answer my one million phone calls. I do that mostly to my mom. No wonder I don’t have any friends.

Tomorrow I am going to find a new psychiatrist and a therapist. I don’t really like my psychiatrist. He barely even talks to me and doesn’t try to find meds that will work better for me. I need to do something because my depression and moods have been getting worse for the last year. My mom says I don’t need to live this way but sometimes I am convinced there is no hope for bipolar people. It is a constant disease and a never ending battle. I was happy for a few years though and I want to get back to that point.

I have been trying to cut back on some of my bills. Today I switched to a cheaper cable modem speed. I canceled my credit card and after arguing with capital one I made it so no one can make charges on it. They usually make it so if you don’t use it for 30 days it cancels if you requested to cancel it. Hmmmm I wonder why they do that? Because of people like me who can’t resist. I also took the $20.00 media package off the cell phone. I called AOL (my mom uses it) and told them I want to cancel so they would give me 3 free months and a cheaper rate. Works like a charm every time and I recommend it if you use AOL. It also works with other companies too. I am bad, but they are charging outrageous amounts and getting rich as hell off of it.

I hope tomorrow is better. I hope my mom isn’t mad at me and ready to give up on me (not that she ever has). It makes me feel bad because I am forever apologizing to people for my behavior and then I do it again. It is a cycle!

Posted in Bad Day, Bipolar, Family, General, Health, Medication, Mom | 5 Comments »

Hospital

Ally, what you said is exactly what is going on with me.

I am so depressed right now. I am thinking of going to the hospital sometime soon. Not that I feel like joking but my family calls it “My vacation home.”

I feel like my mom is pushing me away and spending a lot of time at work and with her friends. She is the only one I have and if I don’t have her I have no one. After being awake for like 3 hours I start to feel crappy and have to get back in bed. If I stand up for too long I feel like I am going to faint. If I think too hard I feel like I am about to have a panic attack.

I just don’t want to leave my dogs at my mom’s. I would have to tell her how to feed them and stuff. Frenchie is a total momma’s girl and she hates when I leave her. I had a hard time leaving her at the groomers today. My mom’s dogs are crate trained and sleep in it at night. I don’t know where my dogs would sleep. My dad is such an ass and says “It’s not fair for my dogs to sleep in the crate and yours don’t.” Well dogs like crates it reminds them of a den and my dogs aren’t used to it plus there is only enough crates for their two. I am sure the will be okay though. My mom will probably put a blanket down for them to sleep on in the kitchen.

Another thing is that Andy is getting confused about where to go potty. He goes over my mom’s house and goes out side so when he is here he hasn’t been using his wee wee pad. I think if he is there for like a week he will come home un housebroken hehe.

I have something coming in the mail from UPS. I think it will be here tomorrow/today or Friday. Plus I have bills to pay and I won’t be checking my mail and stuff if I am in the hospital.

I have a dentist appointment on the 3rd and I really need to go. It just seems like so much of an inconvenience if I go in the hospital.

Why did I have to be born bipolar?

[EDIT 4:44am]
I feel a little better now. I watched a Vonage infomercial and ordered it I seems pretty cool other than the fact that you can’t use it when you have no electricity or your cable modem is down. I have my cell phone too though. I have been looking to save some money.
[/EDIT]

Posted in Bad Day, Bipolar, General, Health | 4 Comments »

Life sucks

Right now I am so upset. I don’t even like writing in this blog anymore so I don’t know why I am. I am so tired and just feel like if I died right now I would be happy. I didn’t feel nervous taking Frenchie out to the bathroom in the dark because if someone killed me I would be happy.

I am sick of everything. Sick of money, my mom, and just life. If I wasn’t so scared of what happens to us after we die I probably would kill myself right now. I just feel so icky right now.

I hate life!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Bad Day, Bipolar, General, Health | 6 Comments »

OMG

[EDIT 4:22pm] Okay I had a totally bipolar day. I freaked out for like an hour and a half. Let me tell you when you have a mental breakdown you get tiredddd after it. I am exhausted. I hit myself with my cordless phone and cut my wrist. I usually don’t do that but I was soooo upset. My mom still denies everything and she says she doesn’t know who left that message. WHATEVER. My give a damn is busted lol. [/EDIT]

OMG So I called my dad and he said my mom left at 5am and he doesn’t know where she is. I was mad she wasn’t answering her cell phone. I thought is was suspicious. So I remember seeing her type in her cell phone pin number. I typed it in and there was a message saying “Hurry up and get here. I just wanted to say I love you, I love you. Hurry hurry hurry.” It was from a guy!!!! I called her friend Scott the one I have been accusing her of having an affair with and confronted him. He said it wasn’t true. YEAH RIGHT!!!! Well, I called and told my dad. I made him promise he wouldn’t yell at me. He didn’t and he was just like “Ok.” I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. Excuse me I think I am going to go throw up now.

Posted in Bad Day, Bipolar, General, Health | 3 Comments »

What a mess

I haven’t updated lately because my apartment has been a construction zone for the last few days. My parents gave me their huge entertainment system. I have to wait for the coffee table though because my dad has his TV on it until they deliver their new furniture. It looks really nice in here. A lot nicer than it looked in my parents huge family room. Their family room is about the size of my whole apartment, but it looks a lot better in a cozy space.

Today has been hectic. I have been in a bad mood all day. First I woke up to cops asking about someone that used to live here. Then I took Frenchie out to go to the bathroom and she almost got attacked by a huge dog not on a leash. You should have saw her she was running around crying and making weird noises because the dog was chasing her. I felt so bad for her.

I went to Best Buy and got a new wireless router. My old one was really old so my max speed while using it would be 1mbps and my new one goes up to 54mbps. I got rid of my desk so I need to be wireless all the time now. I am just going to set my laptop on the coffee table when I get it.

I feel so irritated today. I have been snapping at everybody all day. I think my depression is coming and what a coincidence that it is the day we changed the clocks back an hour.

Well, I am going to try and find something to do to make myself feel better.

I will post pics of the new entertainment system sometime.

Posted in Bad Day, General | 2 Comments »