Girl-Interrupted.net

Awesome

I went to target to get grand theft auto IV. The people in front of me where buying a wii. I asked if they have some, and they did, so I said I’ll take one too. I am giving it to my parents since they have been wanting one bad. I will buy myself one tomorrow if the still have some. I didn’t have enough money to buy two They are probably going to be available a lot more since Steve just bought one the other day too.

Ummmm Andrew called me today and accused me of calling him from a private number and hanging up on him all day yesterday and at 5am this morning. I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS NOT ME!!!!!!! If I wanted to call him, I wouldn’t block my number. I never block my number when I call anyone. I know that I can do some pretty immature things, but I don’t block my number, call people, and hang up on them. That is very immature. I am pretty sure I went to bed at 4:30am last night after I got home from the hospital. My phone was dead when I was in the hospital. It’s not like I can prove it, but I DIDN’T! I told him that is I wanted to fuck with him, I’d change the caller ID number. I do wonder who it was though. He doesn’t have any friends or anything. I was the only one that called him. It does look kind of suspicious that I was awake at like 4:30am, but it wasssssssss notttttttttt meeeeeeee! Who cares. I just hate being accused of something I didn’t do.

I have been depressed. I don’t know what’s wrong. I should be happy. I just haven’t been feeling right, like I said. I cried a lot today. I don’t feel anywhere as bad as last night though. I was kind of depressed last night, but I was feeling really weird. I don’t know if it has to do with my potassium or bipolar. I don’t know if I had an anxiety attack last night. If I did, it was a real weird one, only lasting 2 minutes. I actually tweeted that I was thirsty and I couldn’t get out of bed to get something to drink. It never showed up for some reason. Then I was tweeting that I didn’t feel good, and before I could hit submit, that is when I had to call 911.

I had an anxiety attack a couple weeks ago. I never posted about it, but I said something about it on twitter. I don’t know why all of the sudden I am feeling this way. I have been extremely depressed before. So depressed that I could not talk to anyone and thought about checking myself into a mental institution. I don’t know why all of the sudden I am having anxiety attacks. I’ve had 2 my whole life, and I was a teenager when I had them. If last night was one, it wasn’t that bad. The one I had a few weeks ago wasn’t bad either. It was like 15 minutes long, and all I did was cry, freak out a little, and my hands and feet were tingling.

I don’t know if it has something to do with me not eating or what. I bought bananas today for electrolytes. I threw it up. I bought light Gatorade with electrolytes and some yogurt. All I’ve had today is almost a glass of Gatorade, 4 crackers that I threw up, and the banana I threw up. I think I need to go get some liquid taken out of my band. Now I just don’t want to drive to Norfolk General Hospital. It’s so confusing. But yeah, I’ll go. I’ll call tomorrow. It’s hard getting your protein and 64 ounces of water.

I don’t feel so god right now. I am also wondering if it’s my anti-psychotic that is making me feel this way. Man, I feel like shit.

Posted in Andrew, Bipolar, Health, Lap-Band Surgery, Medication | No Comments »

Stupid surgery

I just talked to one of the bariatric nurses at my surgeons office. She said “oh yeah, that is why you felt that way”. She told me to eat bananas, yogurt, more protein, and yelled at me because I am barely drinking. She told me to get Gatorade for electrolytes, which I think I read potassium is an electrolyte. She said if the Gatorade is too sweet to mix it half with water. The two bariatric nurses they have, both had gastric bypass.

My cell phone went dead at the hospital last night They had wifi. The only person I called was Steve because I knew he was awake. I talked to my mom today, and she told me I should of called her. I didn’t want to ruin her whole day today because she would have insisted on coming there, and she would have been up all night. It was no big deal. The really bad part lasted about 2 minutes.

On the phone with 911, I was like “if something happens to me, I had weight loss surgery, lap-band.” I thought something was going to happen, and if they need to stick a tube down in my stomach, they need to use a scope.

I feel like such a baby, but it was horrible. It was even happening when I was at the ER when I was lying down. I felt like I was going to pass out. I have been feeling that way a lot. The nurse at the ER said she sees it all the time with people who have had weight loss surgery.

Well, I guess I am going to go to the grocery store and stock up on some food with potassium. The bariatric coordinator said that the multi vitamin is not enough.

Posted in Health, Lap-Band Surgery | 2 Comments »

Something isn’t right

I’ve been feeling really weird for a little while now. All kinds of things. I wrote on twitter last night that I have been thinking crazy thoughts. I told Steve that I can’t concentrate during sex. I had an anxiety attack a couple of weeks ago. Well tonight I felt like I was going to faint, like I do a lot of the time. I lied in bed and my heart started racing and I was breathing really heavy. I thought I was going to faint. I felt so bad that I called 911.

Two minutes after I felt like complete shit, it went away, but I still did not feel good. I called 911 the moment I felt that way because I was sure I was going to become unconscious or faint. I was feeling like shit, so I ran to my front door to unlock it in case something did happen to me.

The fire truck got here first, and they used their damn sirens and everything. I didn’t see any of my neighbors outside, thank God. They took my vitals, and everything was fine. They tested my blood sugar, and it was normal. They asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital, and I said no if nothing is wrong with me. They said they can’t determine that. The ambulance came and I got in it and they took me to the ER.

I was mostly fine, so I had to wait in the waiting room, and I didn’t wait for as long as I expected.

There was a TV in my room, thank God. I was there for about 5 hours. It was freezing in there. They gave me chest x-rays, an EKG and took blood, and I peed in a cup.

My potassium levels were very low.

Symptoms of low potassium:

* Weakness, tiredness, or cramping in arm or leg muscles, sometimes severe enough to cause inability to move arms or legs due to weakness (much like a paralysis)

* Tingling or numbness

* Nausea or vomiting

* Abdominal cramping, bloating

* Constipation

* Palpitations (feeling your heart beat irregularly)

* Passing large amounts of urine or feeling very thirsty most of the time

* Fainting due to low blood pressure

* Abnormal psychological behavior: depression, psychosis, delirium, confusion, or hallucinations.

I have a few of those, but I have the abnormal psychological behavior bad. I’ve been thinking really weird things, like I said. I feel out of touch with reality. I’ve been very confused, and it’s hard to get my point across to people. I forget the correct words to use. I have 3 blog drafts saved, and I never posted them because they didn’t make sense to me. I mostly ramble on when I am leaving someone a voicemail because I can’t seem to get my point across and I get confused. I am obsessing over stuff. There’s a few things I can’t get out of my head for more than 3 minutes at a time.

I don’t believe it was because I am bipolar. I have had anxiety attacks, depression, and everything that goes a long with being bipolar. I have never felt this way before.

I was so thirsty too, and I couldn’t get out of bed to get something to drink. I thought about falling asleep and not feeding Frenchie. I forced myself to do that, and I had to sit down to open the can of food and put it on her plate.

I hope things get better. I have been feeling this way for about a week now. I was kind of grumpy when Steve was here.

I haven’t been taking the Adderall. I took it two times.

I took a cab home from the hospital. I didn’t want to call and wake anybody up.

This was not the hypochondriac me. I don’t like hospitals. You are there for hours and hours. I really thought I was going to pass out and possibly not wake up. I know when you faint, though, you immediately wake up the second you hit the floor. That’s what happened to me, and I’ve heard that. If you don’t wake up, you probably have something else going on. I was scared about not waking up. Plus I felt like I was going to faint in bed.

I still feel shitty. I am going to try to sleep now.

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:(

Wow, it’s 4:30am, and I can’t sleep.

I’ve heard that you can feel your port when you lose a lot of weight. I guess my doctor could always feel mine, if he pressed hard. I can now feel it when I am standing up. It just feels like something hard under your skin.

I had scrambled eggs this afternoon at ihop. They got stuck, then Steve, my cousin and I went to the mall. I had to get rid of the eggs in the mall bathroom. It had been a little while since I ate them, but they were not going down.

I had sushi last night (Saturday), and I threw up every bit of that.

Steve is driving me crazy with his freaking Wii. The games that he plays are fucking stupid. He bought 4 new ones. Wario (sp?) Brothers is one of them, and that is stupid. They are just retarded. I like bowling the best. He never wants to play, probably because he sucks at it. It’s one of the few games I can beat him playing, every single time. Mario Party 8, that’s stupid too. I just don’t like video games that much, I guess. The sports ones are so fun though. Minus the boxing one, because that is hard as shit to do. It wears you out. Lots of the games wear you out. I guess it’s good exercise. How much you wanna bet that he doesn’t talk to me when he gets home because he is addicted to it. He’s an old fart too. He can’t keep up with me.

The controllers have a gel padding around them, which is good since I slammed it into my lamp while playing baseball. I want one so bad now!!! I was totally going to buy one for my mom, but Steve took the last one.

My parents bought new a Jeep Liberty today. It’s really nice. I got to drive it, but the street noise is kind of loud, and it is in my car too. It has so much stuff. Bluetooth, GPS, laptop hookups and ipod, satellite radio. I am jealous The brought home a Mustang for 2 days, but they decided they are too old for one. I got to drive that too, and it was fast. I wish they would buy me a new car. My mom will never put anything of mine on her credit though. They told her her score when she bought the Jeep, and it was 5 or 3 points below perfect (I forget).

I have taken over double my medication, and I still can’t sleep. I just took some more again, so hopefully I will be able to. I don’t know why I am having problems sleeping… again. Probably Steve’s liht snoring

Damn, I can hear the birds chirping. I guess I’ll try to sleep again. I’m sure Steve will wake me up all early (12pm lol). I have been taking extra medicine every night, and I sleep for a long time.

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I am so fucking psychic

Steve and I were lying in bed, and he watching Harvey Birdman. I said he looks like Bill Clinton, and we were joking about Bill Clinton, AND one of the cartoon characters pulled out a Bill Clinton mask!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were not even talking about him.

That’s the second thing in 2 days!!!!!!!!

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I’m depressed

For no reason. Steve is on his way here, so I am happy about that.

Mom: Are you going to go get a tattoo tomorrow?
Me: I thought you told me not to spend that money?
Mom: I did, but when does that ever stop you?

Yayy, so I guess I can get a tattoo lol.

Man, I am a 25 year old baby. Who cares. It’s not like housewives actually work. Ones that don’t have kids, at least. I could see all the mean comments coming if I didn’t write that last part. That is really what I meant though.

I don’t know when my tax rebate will be here. I haven’t looked into it. Jenn posted a link on twitter about it. I read a few lines, and then my ADD set in. I’m serious, unfortunately. I could get another tattoo! I don’t think I want one though.

Steve should be here any minute. So, bye.

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The weirdest thing just happened

I was looking at picture, and I was thinking the guy reminded me of somebody. Somebody famous, and I knew who he was, but I couldn’t remember his name. At the same time I am talking to Emily and she said she is looking at the Suicide Girls website. I know who they are and all, but I’ve never been there. So I go there, and I click on “girls”, and I click on this girl. I read the info on her on the side, and it says her hero is Henry Rollins, and THAT IS WHO I WAS THINKING THAT GUY LOOKED LIKE!!!!!!!

How often do people mention Henry Rollins? I’ve heard someone mention him once in the last 10 years probably.

I remember seeing his videos on Headbanger’s Ball when I was a young, young teenager, or maybe even 12.

To me, that was totally weird.

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Damn, all of my posts are like really long now

No fair… my brother is going to Dublin, Ireland and Amsterdam for 3 weeks when he moves back here. I wish he would ask me to go so bad, but I am poor anyways. Maybe if I didn’t run my credit card up again. Why did I have to do that? Do you ever spend a lot of money, and you’re like… “hmmmm, what did I spend it on?” All I can remember is my MacBook Pro. I wonder if he’s going to smoke pot. He has a long vacation until he has to go back to work. I don’t think he would, though, because he’s not like that. But that’s why everyone wants to go to Amsterdam, at least the dumb people I know… or used to know. If I went to Amsterdam, I can guarantee that I would not smoke pot. I hate pot. It gives me really bad anxiety. I smoked it with Emily a while ago, and I only did it because she gave me some anxiety pills to take before we smoked it. Pot used to be great when I was younger, but not anymore. I quit when I was 16. Lots of people that used to smoke pot tell me the same thing. They say that they don’t like it anymore because it makes them paranoid. It makes me paranoid too, but it’s more like anxiety.

I don’t know how I was able to eat a lot of chili last night, when the day before I was throwing up ice cream. I have ate solid stuff a few times, but most of the time I can’t. Maybe I’ll try to get some sushi tonight. My band is really so tight in the morning. I can’t eat anything in the mornings. It hurts when I take large sips in the morning. It was so weird that I was starving after I ate it too. I probably could have ate 2 or 3 of them., and that’s a lot of food, even for someone who hasn’t had weight loss surgery. Maybe not 3 of them, but I could have ate some more. I know if I get some sushi tonight, and I can’t eat it, I’ll be forcing myself to because it is SO good.

Dude, the iPhone is a piece of SHIT!!!! I have been with AT&T/Cingular/Suncom since I was 18. That’s 7 years, and I have ALWAYS had PERFECT reception with EVERY phone I have EVER had. I have had a lot of phones too. Well, I was wondering why no one has called me today, especially my mom, and I try to make a phone call, and I have no signal. This happened the other day. Two people told me that my phone calls were going to voicemail, and I could not make any phone calls for about an hour after I woke up. Well, it’s been a while since I woke up, and still no signal. I just turned it off and back on, and then I had a signal. I just called my mom, and yeah, she tried to call, and it went right to voicemail.

I need to go shopping I never go shopping anymore. It’s because my check card is declining, and then I can’t tell my mom that I spent money I don’t have and ask her for it. I am going to try it right now online. I am going to try to buy the Projekt Revolution tickets. Grrrrr it declined. I got one overdraft fee, and now it declines. It did this once before, and then it started working again. I know… I am so bad. OMG, I wasn’t even paying attention. A $6.00 parking fee and an $8.95 convenience fee, for each ticket! What a rip off. So two $20.95 tickets were $70.00. WTF is a convenience fee? Because I am buying them online? My stupid electric company charges that when you pay your bill online. You’d think it would be easier on them if you pay it online.

God, this stupid guy I met keeps asking me if he can come over almost every day. I keep telling him I have a boyfriend, and his whole agenda last time he came over was to make out with me, but I didn’t. Then when I was mad at Steve the other day he said we should date. It’s so funny how much more guys like me now. I thought I would be bitter about it and think “they wouldn’t have liked me when I was fat”, but I don’t really care. One time he said “we can just lie in bed and talk” haha.

I don’t take pictures of myself still…. like full body pictures. I still feel SO fat. When I look in the mirror I don’t see that I have lost any weight, especially in my face, but people tell me I have lost a lot in my face. Maybe I have, but my face is still so fat. I wish I could get liposuction on my face. I wish I could get a boob job and a tummy tuck. I will be able to get a boob job after I lose all my weight. For that, I am definitely going to quit smoking. Only because I could barely breathe when I woke up from my last surgery, and they had to gave me some asthma medicine, and because you get cut big time, and you don’t heal as well when you smoke. I just looked it up. They gave me Albuterol. My mom’s friend that had gastric bypass just got the skin removed from her arms, that’s it, and it cost $8,000. Insurance will pay for tummy tucks and full body lifts sometimes, but I don’t think mine is severe enough. I’ve lost a little bit in my boobs, but not much. My old bras were wayyyy to big on me though.

All the new Victoria Secret underwear I bought, they won’t stay on me. They fall down, ask Steve. It pisses me off because it’s not like you can give your underwear away lol. If I can’t use something, it makes me feel better to give it away, so I feel like I totally didn’t waste the money. Even if it’s to a thrift store. I don’t like wasting money, even though I do it all the time. I take REALLY good care of my belongings. I never lose or ruin anything, unlike my brother. It pisses me off so bad still that my GPS was stolen. I don’t want to buy another one because I already bought one, and it doesn’t feel right. I don’t even listen to my iPod in my car anymore because I am scared I will forget to take it in, and whoever broke into my car probably saw my AM/FM transmitter (if they realized what it was. they could have thought it was a cellphone charger). I am surprised they didn’t steal that. Thieves will take whatever they can get. I think stealing is SOOOOOO wrong. I don’t steal from stores or anything, but that doesn’t bother me as much because they rip you off anyways. I would never steal from a store because I wouldn’t want to get caught, but if you could guarantee that I wouldn’t get caught, I’d probably do it. I think it is SOOOOOOOOO wrong to steal from a person though. People work hard for what they have. I buy stuff that I don’t have the money for, so it pisses me off even more.

It’s probably because I have seen my parents work SO hard for what they have. They had shitty jobs when I was younger and worked their way up, and they are HARD workers. They worked for and deserve every single thing they own. That’s a lot more than I can say for myself. They never asked anyone for money, and they go to work every single day and work their asses off. Now they don’t work as much because they have better jobs, but they still work hard. I wonder why it didn’t rub off on me. Probably because my mom gives me anything and everything I want. Even when we were poor, both of my parents always made sure we had everything, and put my brother and I before them. They always called me selfish. I don’t think they meant with material things either. I am selfish because I expect everything from everybody, and I don’t mean money. My brother turned out A LOT better than I did. I don’t think it’s always the way you were raised that determines the adult you become. I have seen people come from shitty homes, and they turn out great. I have seen people come from great homes, and they turn out all fucked up. I have seen people with great brothers and sisters, but they are all fucked up. Emily’s sister is a lot like me. She expects everything from her mom and doesn’t work, but Emily works really hard.

Well, I am going to get some money from my mom Seriously. Bye bye.

Posted in (Step)Dad, Family, Friends, Lap-Band Surgery, Mom, TJ | 1 Comment »

Lurker

Noooooo. Someone’s myspace page that I like to lurk on… they made it private. It’s Rich’s wife (Andrew’s friend). The only reason I look at it is because her mom is fucking psycho, and it’s funny. I know all her family business by reading a few myspace profiles. All of their family talks shit about her mom on their profiles. Like call her psycho on Rich’s profile, and she’s his friend.

Randy told me a while ago that she has hepatitis (the mom), and she wants her daughter to give her part of her liver. When he told me that, I didn’t know you could give someone part of your liver. She is supposedly dying. Oh yeah… she also made it public on Rich’s profile that she has hepatitis. I think she said it was from a blood transfusion.

I hadn’t looked at her profile in over a month, and there was all kinds of good info on there earlier, then I went back, and it’s private now. At least her mom’s profile isn’t private.

Awesome. It’s public again. I don’t know what that was about.

Randy is being reallyyyyy nice to me. I don’t know if it’s because I had my surgery, or because he is out to sea for 6 moths and he is bored and lonely. He said him and his gf are most likely going to break up. I asked him if it’s because he’s going to be gone for 6 months, but he hasn’t answered me yet. He knows I have a boyfriend. He’s not talking dirty to me or anything.

Noooo.. I have nothing to do with Andrew, and neither does Rich or Randy. Well… I think Rich talks to him because he asked me his email address. But Andrew and Randy stopped being friends a while ago. So anyways, I like talking to them, and it has nothing to do with you know who. And I would NEVER sleep with Randy again.

Steve, you better not get mad, because you still talk to people you have been with.

I feel like total shit. I just ate a whole entire large chili, and I didn’t get sick. I was full when I was eating it, but I kept eating it. Less than 5 minutes after I ate it, I was starving again. I am as hungry right now as I was before I ate it. Every time I stand up, I feel like I am going to faint. I really don’t feel good. I have to end this post and get in bed. OMG I feel HORRIBLE!!!!!!

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F*ck the Earth Day

F*ck the Earth Day - Watch more free videos

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